Because I Wasn't Hippie Enough...

When I was going to school in Ukiah, I had an English professor who was talking about how people in our lives open us up to different experiences.  This guy was a huge hippie.  He had really long hair and big, metal frame glasses.  He wore loose, button-down shirts with loose hemp pants.  But I like hippies, so I was happy in class.  This teacher talked about how his now ex-wife opened him up to astrology.  He said he always thought zodiacs were silly but she sat him down, explained somethings to him, figured out his birth chart, and now he was a believer.  I still was skeptical but I respected him and I thought I would keep my mind open in the future and someday find out my own chart.

Six years later (this year), I found myself working with someone who was very invested in these birth charts.  Often times, I thought this interest was a bit loony, but the more time passed, the more bored I got, and so instead of mentally rolling my eyes, I started to ask my coworker questions.

Not long after these time-passing Q & A Sessions, a report broke out saying there was an unknown, 13th sign.  The sign is Ophiuchus and is between November 30th - December 17th.  I was born on December 5th.  So instead of being a loyal, adventurous Sagittarius, I was now a sign I couldn't pronounce.  It has since been decided that this change would only be applied to people born after 2010, if the change is applied at all.  I didn't mind either sign.  Ophiuchus is based on a real person and destined to enlighten the world.  I don't mind that destiny.

 
My coworker was pissed to hear that all the signs had now been scooted.  She was now an Aquarius when she was certain she was a Pisces.  With all this astrology talk and a little spare time, I contacted my mom by email to ask about the details of my birth.

She responded:

You were asking the time you were born.  You were born at 7:32p.m.  It was somewhat unique delivery. I had a regular doctor's appointment on that day.  I drove down to the hospital(Abington Hospital) by myself.  Then I was told stay in the hospital so the doctor could keep an eye on my condition.  I called your father and he came to the hospital.  That night you were born. There a couple of medical intern students were there in the delivery room at the time.

So I punched in my info into this free astrology chart online like my coworker advised.  This person told me that people who read their star charts are taken aback by the accuracy.  I was burning with curiosity!  I had to try it.  What would it hurt?

I read some of my star chart.  Some seemed like it could be me, but a lot of wasn't me at all.  I left the site feeling the same way as I always had about astrology.  The "readings" are just so general that they could be talking about anyone and people just perceive what they're reading to be them and ignore the bits that don't apply.

I later recounted my astro-adventure to friend over Facebook chat.  Agreeing with my conclusions, she asked to look at the site as well.  As I looked up the site to share with her, I noticed I had made a mistake in my previous visit.  The site requires military time rather than normal time.  I had put in that I was born at 7:32 am instead of 19:32.  I fixed my error and waited for the page to load.  I was awestruck.     

The aspects that I had once thought, "eh..." were now, "Oh my god, that is me!"  It was uncanny.  I felt that nearly everything matched.  After reading for many minutes, I wanted an explanation!  How could this chart know this?

For an explanation I found phrases like "material energies", "conscious ground of being", and "manifestation of consciousness".  I was not satisfied with this as an explanation.  It didn't make sense to me.  It was just a bunch of hippie-nonsense.  And not in a good way.  I wanted some facts, dammit!  But there were none to be found.

I reread my chart, questioning and re-questioning my initial questions.  I asked myself if many of the descriptions could describe many people.  I read the chart and tried applying it to different family members.  It didn't work.  I tried the same thing with friends.  Nope, not matching.  Then I thought about my vegan friends...yes.  I can see these descriptions applying to them just as well as to me, though some of these seem more specifically me. 

• Your nature is marked by a constant concern for elevation and evolution. You want to project the image of a moral person, inhabited by a natural sense of justice and fairness.... listens to all argumentations, even to those he is not familiar with, and he has the ability to synthesize different logics. Therefore, he is not satisfied with stiff explanations and he strives to take advantage from the diversity of approaches and standpoints, without denouncing any of them a priori.

• Withdrawn, misanthropic, and introverted character. The prison symbolises frustrations stemming from constraints and separation. One may be estranged from a family member who is living in a secluded place, or who is sick. The other possibility is that the members of the entourage do not understand one's intellectual, aesthetic, scientific, or altruistic aspirations. Nevertheless, one is capable of achieving success in the field of one's choice

• Compassionate, altruistic, and courageous character. Childhood is clouded by bad luck and the lack of parental affection. Financial help is available from a female figure. (Who?!) One is not embittered by life ordeals, and in adulthood, one achieves success in non-profit associations or humanitarian work. This degree indicates the possibility to adopt a child.

• ...you sometimes feel like a foreigner who does not belong to the world, to its laws, and its concerns. ... In any case, you have the feeling, sometimes quite vague, that you come from nowhere, and that you do not belong to any definite group... In short, it means that you cannot be simplified in order to conform to existing models.

• Your empathy is strong and you are inclined to offer your strength and your enthusiasm to the most deprived people and to give unlimited assistance to others.

• Ambitious, determined, and aggressive character. One believes that one is entrusted with a special mission and must follow the path which has been drawn by a mysterious hand. Although one means well, one must avoid violent confrontations and resort to dialogue in order to conciliate diverging stands. Otherwise, tough opponents may start an unremitting fight and thwart projects. 

• Your manner in your daily life highlights your unconditional confidence in life, whatever happens, in spite of the delusions and ordeals you underwent. You are confident because you are seldom destabilized by unforeseen events and, in a more subtle way, because you are blessed with the optimism of those who know that they always recover. ... You do not lack ideas for the creation of a better world. Although your hopes may fall within the province of utopia, in many circumstances, you are able to take advantage of your fundamental optimism. Undoubtedly, it is an asset for overcoming setbacks and doubts. 

• If Uranus is part of your natal chart's planetary dominants, in astrology, you are said to be a Uranian: personal values are prevailing. Inner certainties fuel an inflexible will and a desire to call attention on yourself as well as to follow your beliefs through. This planet prompts you to behave with determination, to put forward your own truth, and to start your personal revolution. More than other people, you are willing to keep some degree of autonomy in all circumstances, and you often display an individualistic nature. In order to achieve your ideal of freedom and independence, you may act like a despot as you try to convince and to impose your views, whether smoothly or forcefully. Regardless of the flexibility of your comportment, some situations demand an absolute firmness as well as uncompromising, frank and straightforward attitudes. People may criticize you for your intransigence and say that you are a hardliner. Outsider's opinions don't matter! The most important thing is that you act in all conscience and reach your primary objectives. More than anyone else, you know how to use your willpower and to focus your energy on a precise aim, relentlessly, whatever the consequences might be. In the chapter of qualities, let's mention a definite sense of responsibility, an innovative mind open to techniques and modern ideas, as well as a natural self-discipline which overcomes many an obstacle. Therefore, people are well-advised not to hound you into a corner. 

This shot from As Good as it Gets came up when I googled "Flatterly".  I like this scene. 

In many ways, I think I may just be trying to flatter myself.  Maybe that's astrology's secret.  Tell people enough good crap about themselves and they'll believe anything you say.

I haven't made up my mind completely about astrology.  Some parts of me point out, "It knew about veganism and your mom!"  Other parts of me say it's full of crap.  The remaining parts say, it's harmless as long as it doesn't take up too much time, so who cares?

P.S.  My birth chart also says that I am creative, possibly musically, and will most likely die of a heart problem or violent accident.  It also says that I would be successful a blacksmith or seafood worker.