Promotion Mojo

About a month ago, one of my supervisors from work asked me how I would feel about making a little more money doing what he and the other supervisors do.  I said I was interested.  Truthfully, the way the position was presented to me, it seemed so tentative, I didn't think it would actually happen.

Much to my surprise, about a week later, the promotion was brought up again, this time with mention of training days.  As my boss asked me if I thought I could do the position I felt...short.  That is the most describable feeling that comes to mind.   

I've never seen myself as any kind of leader and I was surprised when my supervisor brought the opening up to me.  I see some of my other co-workers as more model employees than me.  I'm not sure why I was considered before them but I am somewhat flattered, kind of confused, and more than a little guilty.  I have even more guilt over the fact that my co-workers are taking a lot of time to train me and even with an eventual dollar raise, the pay will not be keep me for any enduring amount of time.  But, perhaps with the way my ongoing job search has been going, maybe I won't have to be too guilty.

This has nothing to do with what I'm saying but it looks cool and it came up when I Googled "supervisor".

Training hasn't been easy.  I'm a slow learner, I'm not good with numbers, I'm not observant, and I have problems staying focused.  After the first few days I was convinced that I wouldn't actually get the promotion on account of my seeming incompetence.  The fact that I had two late days didn't help either.

Thankfully, things got better.  Some how I picked up on things that seemed like I never would and as with any new skill I learn, I'm in awe of my brain, both from a personal and a scientific standpoint.  Are other people continually amazed at the human brain's abilities?

Tonight, I was on a practice run of sorts.  For about two hours I worked as a supervisor as though I would if I were on my own.  I made mistakes, yes, but my confidence isn't shaken by them.  I feel pretty good about my progress in fact.  So, because I don't say it nearly enough (and because I deserve it!), "Good job, Me!"

   

Because I Wasn't Hippie Enough...

When I was going to school in Ukiah, I had an English professor who was talking about how people in our lives open us up to different experiences.  This guy was a huge hippie.  He had really long hair and big, metal frame glasses.  He wore loose, button-down shirts with loose hemp pants.  But I like hippies, so I was happy in class.  This teacher talked about how his now ex-wife opened him up to astrology.  He said he always thought zodiacs were silly but she sat him down, explained somethings to him, figured out his birth chart, and now he was a believer.  I still was skeptical but I respected him and I thought I would keep my mind open in the future and someday find out my own chart.

Six years later (this year), I found myself working with someone who was very invested in these birth charts.  Often times, I thought this interest was a bit loony, but the more time passed, the more bored I got, and so instead of mentally rolling my eyes, I started to ask my coworker questions.

Not long after these time-passing Q & A Sessions, a report broke out saying there was an unknown, 13th sign.  The sign is Ophiuchus and is between November 30th - December 17th.  I was born on December 5th.  So instead of being a loyal, adventurous Sagittarius, I was now a sign I couldn't pronounce.  It has since been decided that this change would only be applied to people born after 2010, if the change is applied at all.  I didn't mind either sign.  Ophiuchus is based on a real person and destined to enlighten the world.  I don't mind that destiny.

 
My coworker was pissed to hear that all the signs had now been scooted.  She was now an Aquarius when she was certain she was a Pisces.  With all this astrology talk and a little spare time, I contacted my mom by email to ask about the details of my birth.

She responded:

You were asking the time you were born.  You were born at 7:32p.m.  It was somewhat unique delivery. I had a regular doctor's appointment on that day.  I drove down to the hospital(Abington Hospital) by myself.  Then I was told stay in the hospital so the doctor could keep an eye on my condition.  I called your father and he came to the hospital.  That night you were born. There a couple of medical intern students were there in the delivery room at the time.

So I punched in my info into this free astrology chart online like my coworker advised.  This person told me that people who read their star charts are taken aback by the accuracy.  I was burning with curiosity!  I had to try it.  What would it hurt?

I read some of my star chart.  Some seemed like it could be me, but a lot of wasn't me at all.  I left the site feeling the same way as I always had about astrology.  The "readings" are just so general that they could be talking about anyone and people just perceive what they're reading to be them and ignore the bits that don't apply.

I later recounted my astro-adventure to friend over Facebook chat.  Agreeing with my conclusions, she asked to look at the site as well.  As I looked up the site to share with her, I noticed I had made a mistake in my previous visit.  The site requires military time rather than normal time.  I had put in that I was born at 7:32 am instead of 19:32.  I fixed my error and waited for the page to load.  I was awestruck.     

The aspects that I had once thought, "eh..." were now, "Oh my god, that is me!"  It was uncanny.  I felt that nearly everything matched.  After reading for many minutes, I wanted an explanation!  How could this chart know this?

For an explanation I found phrases like "material energies", "conscious ground of being", and "manifestation of consciousness".  I was not satisfied with this as an explanation.  It didn't make sense to me.  It was just a bunch of hippie-nonsense.  And not in a good way.  I wanted some facts, dammit!  But there were none to be found.

I reread my chart, questioning and re-questioning my initial questions.  I asked myself if many of the descriptions could describe many people.  I read the chart and tried applying it to different family members.  It didn't work.  I tried the same thing with friends.  Nope, not matching.  Then I thought about my vegan friends...yes.  I can see these descriptions applying to them just as well as to me, though some of these seem more specifically me. 

• Your nature is marked by a constant concern for elevation and evolution. You want to project the image of a moral person, inhabited by a natural sense of justice and fairness.... listens to all argumentations, even to those he is not familiar with, and he has the ability to synthesize different logics. Therefore, he is not satisfied with stiff explanations and he strives to take advantage from the diversity of approaches and standpoints, without denouncing any of them a priori.

• Withdrawn, misanthropic, and introverted character. The prison symbolises frustrations stemming from constraints and separation. One may be estranged from a family member who is living in a secluded place, or who is sick. The other possibility is that the members of the entourage do not understand one's intellectual, aesthetic, scientific, or altruistic aspirations. Nevertheless, one is capable of achieving success in the field of one's choice

• Compassionate, altruistic, and courageous character. Childhood is clouded by bad luck and the lack of parental affection. Financial help is available from a female figure. (Who?!) One is not embittered by life ordeals, and in adulthood, one achieves success in non-profit associations or humanitarian work. This degree indicates the possibility to adopt a child.

• ...you sometimes feel like a foreigner who does not belong to the world, to its laws, and its concerns. ... In any case, you have the feeling, sometimes quite vague, that you come from nowhere, and that you do not belong to any definite group... In short, it means that you cannot be simplified in order to conform to existing models.

• Your empathy is strong and you are inclined to offer your strength and your enthusiasm to the most deprived people and to give unlimited assistance to others.

• Ambitious, determined, and aggressive character. One believes that one is entrusted with a special mission and must follow the path which has been drawn by a mysterious hand. Although one means well, one must avoid violent confrontations and resort to dialogue in order to conciliate diverging stands. Otherwise, tough opponents may start an unremitting fight and thwart projects. 

• Your manner in your daily life highlights your unconditional confidence in life, whatever happens, in spite of the delusions and ordeals you underwent. You are confident because you are seldom destabilized by unforeseen events and, in a more subtle way, because you are blessed with the optimism of those who know that they always recover. ... You do not lack ideas for the creation of a better world. Although your hopes may fall within the province of utopia, in many circumstances, you are able to take advantage of your fundamental optimism. Undoubtedly, it is an asset for overcoming setbacks and doubts. 

• If Uranus is part of your natal chart's planetary dominants, in astrology, you are said to be a Uranian: personal values are prevailing. Inner certainties fuel an inflexible will and a desire to call attention on yourself as well as to follow your beliefs through. This planet prompts you to behave with determination, to put forward your own truth, and to start your personal revolution. More than other people, you are willing to keep some degree of autonomy in all circumstances, and you often display an individualistic nature. In order to achieve your ideal of freedom and independence, you may act like a despot as you try to convince and to impose your views, whether smoothly or forcefully. Regardless of the flexibility of your comportment, some situations demand an absolute firmness as well as uncompromising, frank and straightforward attitudes. People may criticize you for your intransigence and say that you are a hardliner. Outsider's opinions don't matter! The most important thing is that you act in all conscience and reach your primary objectives. More than anyone else, you know how to use your willpower and to focus your energy on a precise aim, relentlessly, whatever the consequences might be. In the chapter of qualities, let's mention a definite sense of responsibility, an innovative mind open to techniques and modern ideas, as well as a natural self-discipline which overcomes many an obstacle. Therefore, people are well-advised not to hound you into a corner. 

This shot from As Good as it Gets came up when I googled "Flatterly".  I like this scene. 

In many ways, I think I may just be trying to flatter myself.  Maybe that's astrology's secret.  Tell people enough good crap about themselves and they'll believe anything you say.

I haven't made up my mind completely about astrology.  Some parts of me point out, "It knew about veganism and your mom!"  Other parts of me say it's full of crap.  The remaining parts say, it's harmless as long as it doesn't take up too much time, so who cares?

P.S.  My birth chart also says that I am creative, possibly musically, and will most likely die of a heart problem or violent accident.  It also says that I would be successful a blacksmith or seafood worker.

    

A New Wascally Habit

The vegan pledge I was volunteering with ended a few weeks ago but before its close, the president of the group and a good friend of mine asked if I was interested in fostering or adopting rabbits.  My friend helps a rescue group, Rat Chick Rescue.  This group rescues rats and other rodents from certain doom since these pets are even more likely to be killed at shelters then homeless cats and dogs.

Since becoming involved as a vegan activist, I have had a lot more contact with people who spend many of their free hours helping animals whose lives have been put on the line by human carelessness.  I've never been generous with my time in this way.  Although I know that veganism addresses the most fundamental problem with speciesism and animal rights, I still don't feel I am doing enough when I think of all the millions of animals who are waiting in shelters or being killed in shelters because their is not enough room for them.

Long story short (too late), I am now living with a pair of rabbits.  Their are delightful, funny animals to live with.  I call them Wayne and Garth.  I distinguish them by one of them (Wayne) having one black paw, though Garth has more of Wayne Campbell's personality traits, I didn't know them as well when I settled on names.  Garth is more outgoing, rambunctious, and easier to pet.  He also like to dominate poor little Wayne.  Wayne is more laid back and more curious about things.

Every night, I get home from work around 10:45 pm.  I come in the door of my apartment, walk up the stairs, and open my bedroom door where the bunnies are anxious for their nightly treat.  I always give them a fresh vegetable when I get home from work.  As a vegan, and as a vegan working at a grocery store, I spend a great deal of my time worrying about the suffering and death of animals.  When I ring up meat, particularly whole chickens and hens (I think because the whole corpse is there in the case of chickens and hens), I always feel deeply, deeply sad when I put the body in the bag.  I often think to myself, "I was too late for this one."  I feel as though I am putting a body in plastic grave.  I mentally say things like, "Bye chicken.  I'm sorry.  Poor chicken."  I think of the footage I've seen and the accounts I've read about slaughterhouses and "farms".  The customer has no idea how upset they've made me by this ordinary purchase.

So, to come home to two relatively happy animals gives me a kind of peace and happiness that is hard to describe but is beautiful to feel.

I am happy to be Wayne and Garth's foster guardian but I must find them a new home soon in order to help a certain deserving cat in need.

 

I Met The Greatest Living Legend You've Probably Never Heard Of

Gary Francione.  I met Gary Francione.  I told you you haven't ever heard of him.  Or maybe you remember the name vaguely because you are the one person who reads this and one of the people I live with and has to constantly hear about my rants and raves about animal rights.  Or maybe you've heard this name because you are one of my online vegan friends.  Or maybe you've heard the name because you are very in touch with the animal rights world.  But chances are you haven't heard this name and my excitement about meeting this person makes me an odd kind of nerd that you've never met before.  You didn't know there could be animal rights nerds, did you?  I didn't either until I discovered Gary and his following of sorts.   

An interview by The Believer.

On the first day of PAN vegan pledge, I introduced myself to the group a vegan mentor.  I told everyone that I was an abolitionist and I recommended that everyone check out the site.  The site is produced by Gary Francione who is in my opinion, the true father of the animal rights movement.  When it comes to the movement, he is my guiding star.  While I'm not a blind follower of the man, I have a hard time talking to others about veganism and related issues without echoing what I have heard Gary so many times before.  I strive to say things in my own way with new analogies and examples but truthfully, no one says things better than Gary.  No one I've discovered yet anyway.

Soon after my introduction, I mingled with the other mentees and mentors.  A young women about my age told me that Gary was coming to Philly to talk!  To Philly!  I had been dreaming of seeing him talk in real life!  Could this really be?

I found out the details and learned that Grindcore House, a South Philly Vegan coffeehouse, was going to be having Gary discuss his new book on February 5th.  I shared this news with people on the PAN Google group.  On this board, my friend and President of PAN posted that Gary would be talking to our pledge group earlier in that same day!  For real?!

I requested off of work for the entire day and eagerly waited for the day to come!

That Saturday, I was anxious.  I had been up late the night before baking cookies I had volunteered to make.  Because I wanted them to be perfect for Gary, as well as perfect for veganism, I taste tested each of the 6 trays that I baked.  This of course sounds fun, but by the end of the night I was an-overdosed-cookie-monster-mess.  I was stuffing cookies in my face with my eyes half-closed.  I was full and sleepy and I couldn't tell if the cookies would firm up properly with more time sitting or if I should put them back in the oven.  I now know letting them sit would have been better but I kept putting them back in the oven.  Some got hard, but most of them were still good, particularly when dipped in tea.

I got to the PAN meeting tired, excited, and ready to help people setup for the cooking demo.  The cooking demo came and went.  The young woman who runs Miss Rachel's Pantry was teaching us.  Miss Rachel was wonderful and completely lovable!  So knowledgeable and inspiring.  The food was mouthwatering and ready and mentees filed upstairs to eat what we had all made together.  Mentors and volunteers helped clean up.  I was more anxious.  Gary would be here at any moment.

Soon, I heard his voice at the door.  I don't remember what he said.  Probably something person-like, like "Hello! How are you?"  I just remember thinking, "It's him!  I've heard his voice a hundred times and now I'm hearing it live!"  Gary entered the church, popped his head in where we volunteers were wrapping up cleaning duty.  He said, "Hello!" and proceeded upstairs.

I brought my food up and then I got to listen to him speak.  "How lucky am I?" I thought.  Listening to him speak, I was delighted to discover how funny he was.  Despite talking about something so serious, he kept people laughing while never downplaying the seriousness of the issue.  This is such an admirable skill and accomplishment.  As I watched, I wished I had brought my camera to record this.  I feel positive, that is to say, absolutely sure that Gary will be in history books.  I couldn't be more sure of this.  At one point, vegan desserts were passed around the table.  My cookies were passed to him, but he politely turned them down saying, "No thank you.  But they look good!"  That was truly enough for me!  I know from listening to him that he isn't a big sweets person and had he actually tried one I don't think I could stand the wait for his verdict.  At the end of his talk, I had goosebumps.  He said something like, "This world would really be great if we just made up our minds to make it that way!"  I agree.

After the talk, I waited to talk to him.  When I got to talk to him, I introduced myself as my abolitionist forum name, DumbledoresAmy, because I figured he'd know me somewhat from that.  He did, and said, "Oh, that's you!" And talked about how funny it is when you are finally able to place a real face with an single thumbnail image and posts.

Then, I gave him my vegan "business" cards.  They have his website at the top, followed by my vegan blog, and then a quote by him.

He read it and said, "Oh look, that's my website!"  He read a bit further and said, "Oh, that's a quote by me!"  I felt a bit like a child showing her uncle something she had created at school.

We made our way out the door because the church would need the space very soon.  I start talking about a mutual friend we have, and he was interested in what she was up to since I talk to her more online than he has a chance to.

I walked home with my new vegan friends, gabbing incessantly.  This is something I find I do around other vegans.  I wish I could stop myself but I have so many thoughts that I withhold as an effort to not discomfort my non-vegan friends that once I get to talk to a vegan, my excitement is uncontainable and possibly, mildly annoying.

--

I got to the second Gary Francione event later than intended.  The address of the coffeehouse confused me.  Directions and locations are not my strongest suit.  Gary's talk was great.  I worried that everyone there was already vegan.  I'm not sure if they were or weren't.  My hopes were that new people would be added to our 1% population.

Go to here.

In the middle of the 2-hour talk I had to pee.  Damn that tea!  The bathroom was in the same space as the discussion room and I found the idea of Gary Francione hearing me pee to be too familiar for someone I looked up to so much.  But soon, I had to face facts, and I headed to the bathroom trying to embrace the idea as a way to comfort myself.  To my relief, the bathroom light was attached to one of those loud fans and my mind was put at ease.

Once the talk was finished, Gary answered questions and then signed his books.  I had two copies.  One for our mutual friend and the other for myself.  Gary told me between the talks, he was looking at the vegan card I had given him and he had gotten teary-eyed because he was so touched.  How sweet!  This is a precious life memory for me that I will always keep safe.  Thank you Gary for coming.  Thank you PAN for making it possible.  And thank you me, for being passionate, weird, and fun and making the unusual worth living, experiencing, and writing about.  I don't think many people are this excited about this many things and it's too bad.  It's a good time! 

I was worried that searching for images of "self love" on Google would lead me to a bunch of masturbation pictures, but this is quite lovely.