Paper or Plastic?

Last year at this time, I was awarded a piece of paper that says I went somewhere, learned a bunch of stuff, and paid a bunch of money.  Since this time, I have been paying back a lot of this money (though I've barely dented the debt).

I've been working shit jobs for a little over a year now.  Other people can do it and I think no less of them.  It's a different kind of smart that allows a person to just be content.  A different kind of smart that escapes me.  Some of my co-workers have been asking "paper or plastic?" for 12 + years.  I can't do this though.  These jobs tear at me.  This sounds over-dramatic and it is.  I know that things could be much worse.  I just wish I could be creating something meaningful or helpful.  I feel worthless knowing that I am contributing so little to the world.  I have so much enthusiasm, intelligence, creativity, and kindness, that I know I could give much more.  I deserve more too.  Not necessarily money though, I'd take it.   

"I'm just scared that it's not going to get any better than this."  ~ Edward D. Wood Jr. ~ Ed Wood