Smells that Send Me Back a Ways

Due to housing and financial issues, the past few days have been stressful but I don't want to go into details why.  It's not that I don't want to, it's just that I've learned from painful experience that it is unwise to blog about people so instead of blogging about specific happenings of my life, I will share something unrelated to the week.  This idea occurred to me as I opened the bookstore I where work.  As I turned on the air conditioner, a familiar smell blew at my face and I suddenly felt like I was seven-years-old and sitting in a closet under the stairs in my playroom.

According to Discovery Health, "A smell can bring on a flood of memories, influence people's moods and even affect their work performance. Because the olfactory bulb is part of the brain's limbic system, an area so closely associated with memory and feeling it's sometimes called the 'emotional brain,' smell can call up memories and powerful responses almost instantaneously."

The smell of hot glue and solder takes me back to my middle school and high school days when I was working on a project with friends in a basement for a program called Odyssey of the Mind.  You can see some music videos I made at one of the competitions here.

Sometimes, such as this morning, I think to myself, "It smells like bagpipes."  This thought comes from the fact that my dad played bagpipes when I was young.  He kept the case in the closet under the stairs.  I'm not sure if the smell I associate with the pipes are from the case or the actual instrument.  The scent is aged, airy wood.

When I was 13, my dad came back from the park with a pair of goslings.  My dad said that a couple had dropped the goslings off and left.  Knowing they wouldn't make it on their own and being as the goslings started following him, my dad took them home.  I attempted to raise them before giving them to a wild animal shelter.  They were precious.  If I had the describe their aroma I would say they smelt of warm fluff.  They had a very distinct smell.  So much so that I remember after one piano lesson I was walking to the car with my dad and I sniffed the air and observed, "It smells like goslings."  He agreed.

Job Search in the Big Apple

The most exciting thing that happened to me this week was I went to New York City in search of a job.  The day was eventful and adventurous.  My sister came with me for moral support and it was both needed and appreciated.  The bus ride was great, especially because I was on the stand by list and it could have turned out that I had to wait an hour for the next bus while my sister headed to the city.  Luck was on my side because I not only got on the bus but, I scored the front seat on the top level of the double decker!  Awesome!

My sister and I got to New York and we got subway day passes.  Great value!  Afterward, my sister and I attempted to find Chinatown which was harder than we imagined.  Eventually, our persistence paid off and we enjoyed delicious spring rolls and bead curd!

In the late afternoon, I got dressed up for an interview.  My sister was walking with me when one of her flip-flops broke.  Since I brought my heels for my interview and I had sneakers in my bag.  Fortunately, my sneakers fit my sister's feet.  Unfortunately, I only have four pairs of shoes, and without my sneakers I'm left with my flip-flops, ill-fitting tennis shoes from trash picking, and my heels.  Soon, I will visit my family, at which point I will be reunited with my go-to-shoes.      

Also this week, my roommate moved out and she took with her three cats that I have come to love and take care of over the months.  It was a tough week.  I cried most nights.  I'm sad that the cats are gone and my place seems empty.  At the same time, it feels like a relief to not have them around knowing they are leaving soon.  I think they got tired of me crying on them. 

Typing About My Type

Since a high school psychology class, I have been fascinated by Carl Gustav Jung's (a.k.a. C.G. Jung) and Myers-Briggs personality test.  A visit to Jung's Wikipedia page will tell you that he provided the basis for the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator.  Jung researched people and their personalities and concluded that there were eights basic kinds of people in the world.  During his studies, Jung was assisted by Katharine C. Briggs.  While Katharine C. Briggs collected all of the data that Jung discovered, her daughter, Isabel Briggs Myers had the idea that all of this information could be used to help people.  Isabel felt that if people had a better understanding of what they were good at and what they had to work on, they would be better equip to succeed in the workplace and in personal relationships.  So, Isabel Briggs Myers spent her lifetime adding on to Carl Jung's research.  In doing so, she decided that there were 16 personality types.     

When I first took this personality test in my 10th grade psychology class, I thought that the test had me down perfectly.  Over the seven years since then (Shit, has it really been that long?) I have revisited my interest in the test, and with every search I find more information that seems even more specific and more accurate.  One search that really impressed me told me that I was most likely a vegetarian.  True!

So who am I?

I am INFP meaning I am an Introverted Feeling with iNtuition who Perceives the world around me.  The word that describes me best is "Idealist".  My polar opposite would be an Extroverted Thinker with Senses and Judges the world around them.  But let's get back to me.

According to my various books and Google searches, as an INFP, I am flexible and easy-going unless one of my personal principals is violated.  I hold myself to a strict, moral code but generally I don't impose these beliefs upon others.  I see everything for how it could be rather than how it is.  I am seek out the beauty and good in things and I fantasize about the future.  I am inclined to be creative and uninclined to understand topics based on pure facts.  It's in my nature to be curious about things and have a lifelong sense of wonder.  I always have the desire to learn new things and have different experiences.  All of the qualities make me restless and sometimes fickle.

The book Type Talk reports that as an Introvert, people may see me as anti-social because I am unable to devote large amounts of time to sociable activities.  I need time to myself to recharge for although I have an endless amount of energy for the many things I'm passionate about, being with other people depletes my energy quickly.  The book also mentions that at times, I feel guilty about all the me time I need, and living with extroverts may increase this guilt.  I am a difficult to get to know but I can be extremely warm and open with the few I choose to open up to.  I have a great deal of empathy and see both sides to any story.  Things are never black and white to me.  At the same time, I take things too personally and it is common for my type to be hypersensitive.               

I am unhappy in a job that is routine and meaningless.  I require a fulfilling career more than a big paycheck.  This career should involve something that "provides a noble service to aid society".  Without a clear purpose in my job, I become resentful and maybe even rebellious.  For these reasons, INFP are most often drawn to jobs in writing, health care, or psychiatry.  I work well when I am working independently.  I am a perfectionist and sometimes I can have a control problem.

I have also found through websites and books that INFPs often have unhappy childhoods and "a subtle and tragic motif running throughout their lives."  I don't know how a test could know this but it's true.  It is common for my type to feel lonely and isolated because on the internal nature of my personality and because INFP account for 1-5% of the population.  My happiness depends on my finding a balance between my ideals and the reality of the way things are in the world.             
 

People like me include Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes, Harry Potter author, J.K. Rowling, Lord of the Rings author, J.R.R. Tolkien, actress and activist Audrey Hepburn, Princess Diana, and co-founder of this personality test, Isabel Briggs Myers. 

To see what your personality type is, go here.  You can also visit this site, this site, or this site, to read more about INFPs or your own personality type.

My Best Work

I work at a used bookstore.  It pays the bill, but that's about it.  Some people can go to a job that they don't like, leave and feel better.  That's not me.  I need to have good feelings about what I'm doing to feel good at all.  To feel good, I need to be learning new things, improving the lives of others, and have the luxury to be creative.  Generally, my used bookstore hasn't allowed me to fulfill these needs, until recently. 

This past Tuesday was my best day of work.  A woman carrying a bundle of flowers came into the store and approached the counter asking, "I have sort of a strange request.  My daughter-in-law is expecting and scheduled to give birth tomorrow.  I want to give her some books, light reading books, about girlfriends and things, that she can take to the hospital with her to read.  Do you have any suggestions?"  I was eager to help, but I was feeling out of my area of expertise.  I don't read "books about girlfriends".  I gravitate towards books about animal rights, psychology, and film making.  I try to read classics and books that inspired movies as much as I can.  The only "chick lit" book I've read I bought because my college play-writing professor wrote (which was "Tart" if anyone cares to know.  I liked it!).

So, I pointed this woman in the direction of the fiction section while walking over with her.  I pulled off things from the shelves that were bestsellers because I at least knew that other people had liked them.  I found Confessions of a Shopaholic and presented it to the customer.  She smiled kindly but shook her head, "A girl book but she doesn't like shopping or shoes.  I know, it's a strange request."  Although this was different from my initial idea, I felt like I could better relate to what this mother-to-be might want. 

My mind went to when I was happily working at Blockbuster and swapping books with my manager.  He lent me his Chuck Palahniuk books and I lent him my Nick Hornby books.  I can't remember if my co-worker actually read High Fidelity or just the back cover, but I remember that he didn't finish it.
"It's a chick book," he complained.
 "No it's not!  It's about a guy who can't commit."        
"Well, it's metro-sexual at the very least." 
I saw his point although I doubt I admitted it at the time. 

So, I pulled some Nick Hornby books from the shelf.  A Long Way Down, High Fidelity, and How To Be Good.  I talked about how funny the author was and that the reading was light and engaging.  The woman read the back of the books and held up How To Be Good saying, "This one will work!"  I felt so happy!  I had really helped someone!  Not just rang up their books or answered their questions on the phone, but actually helped them!  We kept looking together and I picked up What Looks Like Crazy On An Ordinary Day by Pearl Cleage.  I haven't read it, but I know Oprah likes it.  I like the title and I like the cover.  The woman likes the looks of it too!  She says she's ready to go!

As we walk back up to the counter, I ask if the flowers she's carrying are for her daughter-in-law.  She tells me that they are and that it's her daughter-in-law's birthday today.
"If the baby is born tomorrow, it'll be one birthday after another, and that would be nice."  I agree with her.

I ring up the customer's books and put them in a nice bag.  I tell her to wish her daughter-in-law a "Happy Birthday and Best of  Luck!" for me.  She tells me she will and thanks me for my help. 

As she leaves I find it amazing that a woman will be waiting to bring a new life into being with books I helped pick out in her hands.  Among her last hours before her life changes forever and she becomes a mother, she'll be reading (and probably laughing at) Nick Hornby or a book with abstract art and an Oprah's Book Club Sticker on the cover.  In the grand scheme of things, my hand in the day's events are insignificant but it's the closest I've come to feeling like I'm making a difference in my job so, I'll take it.  I wonder if the kid has been born yet...    

Day 1 of Mission Blog

Staring this week, I have started the goal to blog Monday - Friday, each day on a different topic on a different blog. Mondays will be about me.
Tuesday - Movies
Wednesday - Veganism
Thursday - Books
Friday - Music 

The idea behind why Monday will be my personal update day is 1.) the alliteration of Me and Mondays and 2.) the hope that I will have done exciting things over the weekend.  This weekend I am happy to say that I succeeded!

Last night, I went out dancing at a gay bar with a bunch of girlfriends!  It was on my list of things to do and I did it!  And I had so much fun!  It was 80's night, and as my movie and music blog will soon reveal, I love the 80's!  I went dressed up and if I had any batteries for my camera, I'd include a picture.  But, since I don't you'll just have to use your imagination.  You'll also have to imagine my surprise when I got there and discovered the idea was more so that drinks were 80 cents and no one else was dressed up for the 80's.  They didn't even play all that much 80's music.  Not till the end.  I wanted to bang on the DJ's glass window and say "Where's the God damn 80's music?!"  Lady Gaga is cool and all but she's not 80's.  80's inspired, certainly, but that's not the same. 

I'm also proud to say that I danced when no one else would.  When my four new friends and I got there, only a very small group was on the expansive dance floor.  I danced by myself sometimes which was scary but liberating. There was one time I got out and danced when it was only me.  Scarier still but a bonding experience when my friends did join me.

Once the night really got started, "Love is a Battlefield" "Take On Me" "Rapture" "I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me)" "Like a Virgin" "Another One Bites the Dust" (Since I requested QUEEN!) got played, making it a night more like I pictured.  I was told that I had a "nice look" and I was "adorable" and  it was nice to get some friendly compliments from strangers that I didn't have to have any worries about.  Mostly, I was glad to have made the effort to get out there, make new friends and have new experiences.  Outside the comforts of a work setting, my natural tendency is to be introverted so socializing doesn't always come easily for me.  But the good news is, with a little extra effort, it does come.